DAY 7. NOTHING IS SOMETHING. (REST).
One thing I love about quarantine is the fact that it has reminded us how deprived we were of real rest. It took us so long to slow down I think we all kinda spazzed at first because we didn't know what to do with ourselves! And then the guilt came, and then the anxiety. But then after some time, and 100 other emotions, I think we started to settle a bit. And remember. Oh this is nice. Oh I remember this. Wait. Do I remember this? Have I ever allowed myself to do this? ..
Sunday is my day to do nothing. I often fast from my last meal the night before until the following evening at dinner time. (I didn't today because I am on my cycle and mama ordered a pizza last night. I don't make the rules.) But no matter if I'm fasting or not, I take this day for me. I wake up and say my prayer, make breakfast, read, write, meditate - either in my apartment or up on the roof (or both!). Cook and eat nourishing foods and really, just take this day to spiritually prepare myself for a new week by completely stopping everything and just being with myself. With absolutely zero guilt.
When I went through my first real spiritual awakening I guess you could call it - like the first time in my life I really acknowledged and took responsibility for my pain. Letting things happen to you and dealing with them is one thing, but acknowledging and understanding why they might be happening and taking responsibility for them. Taking ACTION. Holy shit. It's sooo much more painful oh my god. Hardest year of my life. It was an AWAKENING for SURE. - But yeah, I really acknowledged my bullshit and cut some people out. Cut some activities out and whatever else I was using to distract myself. I was in like, really terrible pain. Ughhhh my heart was just aching. It was fully fucking broken and some days I would wake up and just pull my blinds up so the sun would hit me, lay on my floor and cry until I fell asleep. It felt like 6 months of straight releasing it was EXHAUSTING. But I realized how amazing and brave it is to allow your heart to break wide open because it just lets all this crazy light in and when it heals it feels like it's 100x bigger and just beaming light at everything like a care bear. I also realized that when I stopped and did nothing, that I was still okay. My roof didn't shatter over my head, my solid relationships only grew stronger because of the understanding, grace and support I was given and I was able to come back stronger, wiser and more brave. More kind and compassionate for myself and others. Just BETTER.
So take your time when you need it. It doesn't have to be a Sunday. I'm hoping that these acts of self love are helping you to become more in tune with yourself so that when you feel you need to stop, you know your body is right, and you trust yourself enough to do it. Because you will be okay. No matter how long you need to. You will come back bigger, badder and better than ever.
So just stop. Everything. Listen. Rest. Nothing is something.
I love you. Have a blessed Sunday. Take it in.
I'll see you tomorrow.