PAUSE. REST. REALIGN. KEEP FIGHTING.

We've paused the #loveyouchallenge to focus all of our efforts and energy into supporting the Black Lives Matter protests. When I say we, I mean me and you. So I hope you have. That might mean sharing important things you see, donating, signing petitions, marching in the protests, having conversations with your friends and family, educating yourself, unlearning, re-learning and helping to educate others. All of it is helpful and all of it is necessary. 
I wanted to write a blog post to share with you that I am fasting again tomorrow. During this past week and a half, I found myself getting very short tempered, angry, frustrated, and depleted. I would bark back at those who didn't agree with me. Talk down to people who weren't seeing the bigger picture. And/or completely shut down with people who were focusing on other things. Like looting. I stepped back and realized what was very clearly happening.
The Black Lives Matter movement (movement isn't good enough a word for what I feel is going on. It's a fucking revolution.) is so profound, and so beautiful, it is a movement of unity that the dark and evil energies on this earth fear and have spent lifetimes working against. There are energies working right now to create a divide within this movement and you can see it happening already. People getting in each other's faces and spaces online about what they are or aren't doing enough of. Just today I got in a heated debate with my little brother about burning buildings and property damage. I was furious. This isn't the issue. Even HE knows it isn't the issue. But there we were, arguing about it for at least 20-30 minutes. I see this debate going on all over the place. It's only one of them. And it is going to continue to happen. 
- FYI when you start talking about looting and violence and property damage, you immediately take the focus away from what we are all fighting for, which is equality for black and brown lives. None of this would even be happening if it weren't for YEARS on top of YEARS of absolute injustice on all levels. And if you haven't personally felt or experienced this injustice and racism, you aren't allowed to tell people who have, how to feel or what the "appropriate" way is to deal with their feelings. You really don't even have a right to a fucking opinion as far as I'm concerned. - 
There are going to be little (AND BIG) distractions, and chaos agents put directly in your path to throw you off of your true purpose which is what? UNITY. Remember why you are here. To help evolve the collective consciousness. To evolve your soul. Each generation gets us closer. Don't let these low vibrational energies take you down to a place to where you are thrown off of your true purpose. 
When I feel I am no longer acting from my heart space, I know it's time to take a step back and realign. To reconnect with my soul in a deep way and get grounded. Because I am no help to anyone if I am not thinking clearly. I am no help to anyone if I am not teaching with patience and love. I know anytime someone has spoken down to me, THE LAST thing I'm gonna want to do is listen and learn from them. I feel shame and I feel resentful towards them for making me feel that shame.
I know I need to come back to me because I believe this is my role on this earth. To lead with love. And if you feel it is yours, I invite you to join me in a fast tomorrow. 
I am fasting with very clear and deliberate intentions this Sunday. I will be fasting for protection for the protestors, for guidance for the collective in how we can move forward in strength from this point, because there is still SO much work to be done. And I am fasting for my own guidance and clarity. To be guided to the conversations I'm supposed to have, to people I'm supposed to meet and the words I'm supposed to speak to be heard. (cuz sometimes people listen but they sure don't hear you, y'know..) 
My family has fasted in a time of crisis for as long as I can remember. The last time we did, we did it as a family unit, for another family member who had lost his way and was in a very dark space, we were all very worried about him but he wasn't listening to anyone. We were scared and my Dad didn't know how to get through to him. So we prayed together and decided to fast together. The day after our fast, that family member showed up at my Dad's doorstep. 
Every single time I have fasted, I have received a beautiful message, felt a warm feeling of connection with my spirit and experienced a profound release. The feeling of being one with your spirit is the most indescribable, beautiful feeling on earth I can't help but sob when I feel it. It is a gift. And a feeling I think a lot of us need to get back to in this time to re-center and get back out there. 
What I am doing, is having my last meal tonight and I will fast (not eat at all) until my dinner tomorrow evening. I usually like to stay in silence for the day and stay off my phone. I say a prayer tonight before I start my fast and sometimes I write it out in my journal. Why am I fasting. I make it very clear. I pray again when I wake and honestly, whenever I feel I need to throughout the day. I write. I lay on the floor and meditate. I take a salt bath. I drink lots of water. And I am just still with myself for the day. Spirit always comes. Sometimes my Grandpa fasts for days when he is in need of guidance. In fact, I think I will call my Grandparent's tonight for an extra little blessing. 
It is a beautiful way to connect with your spirit in a time when you need your spirit to be the very strongest. Which is now. So if you have felt a pang in your gut while reading any of this. I think you should join me.
I love you. 
Please visit the below link for petitions that haven't reached their goals yet, the best ways to donate and best organizations to donate to as well as resources to educate yourself. This cannot go away. THIS IS NOT GOING AWAY. We can't let it.  Read/watch/learn something new every day and then share it. The world needs you. 
#BLACKLIVESMATTER 
**EDIT** I have decided to participate in the protests today so I will be cutting my fast by a few hours. I will be doing this again next Sunday. Just wanted to be completely transparent!! Love you. xx 

9 comments


  • Jasmine

    This is so beautiful and opened my eyes to new things. Thank you 💛


  • Kay S.

    We appreciate you babe ❤️


  • Erika

    You truly are such a beautiful soul. I have read a lot of angry posts during this time (with good reason), but you’re words are equally gentle and powerful and it takes a truly magical person to find balance the way you do. Thank you so much Laina <3


  • Ashley Wilder

    You are such a beautiful soul! Thank you for sharing!


  • Chelsea

    This is beautiful. Thank you.


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